When Someone You Love Has Multiple Sclerosis

For decades, #DaveBexfield, who’s had multiple sclerosis (MS) since 2005, was the designated “bug killer” in his house. When his wife, Laura, spotted a spider or cricket, Dave came to the rescue.

But one day, when Dave was cleaning up a dead spider, he fell — and landed in the emergency room. The couple quickly realized that Laura, Dave’s primary caregiver, needed to take on more household tasks.

Dave and Laura, who live in Albuquerque, NM, now tag-team on home chores. Dave uses a walker or wheelchair, and forearm crutches, so he does sitting-down tasks, while Laura does others.

“He loads the dishwasher and I put the clean dishes away. He folds the laundry and I hang it in the closet.”

It’s all part of the adjustment that comes with taking a bigger role in your loved one’s care. Some simple changes can make the transition go easier.

Help with daily living. Expect to take on more everyday tasks. You may need to arrange transportation and run errands for your loved one. Household chores like cleaning, cooking, shopping, laundry, and child care may shift.

Depending on your loved one’s MS symptoms, you may have to help with basic care like dressing, feeding, toileting, and bathing.

Make adjustments at home. Helping your loved one to be more independent is good for both of you. You may need to do some research on equipment like a walker or wheelchair.

Take stock of your house. Ramps, wider doorways, and bathroom equipment help him stay safe and make it easier to get around. An occupational or physical therapist can come to your home to suggest specific changes.

Promote a healthy lifestyle. “A lot of people with MS are trying to improve their diet. As a caregiver, you can step in and join them,” says Victoria Leavitt, PhD, a neuropsychologist at Columbia University Medical Center in New York.

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