Posted: 26 Feb 2015 04:47 PM PST
It was bound to happen
at some point. You don’t prepare for it—you never do. But when my wife Laura
was told the newly discovered lump in her breast was growing quickly and needed
to be removed immediately, our roles as patient and caregiver were violently upended.
Funny, I recently was featured on WebMD talking about, of all things, the
importance of caregivers. Now, without warning, I was forced to become one.
Gulp.
at some point. You don’t prepare for it—you never do. But when my wife Laura
was told the newly discovered lump in her breast was growing quickly and needed
to be removed immediately, our roles as patient and caregiver were violently upended.
Funny, I recently was featured on WebMD talking about, of all things, the
importance of caregivers. Now, without warning, I was forced to become one.
Gulp.
Breast cancer runs in
Laura’s family. Her grandmother was diagnosed with it in her 40s. Her wonderful
mother tragically passed away from it at the age of 66. This was no joke. And
that was a problem. As I mentally cataloged all of my potential skills as a
caregiver, which took all of a few seconds, I concluded that my greatest
caregiving asset was… humor. Jeezo.
Laura’s family. Her grandmother was diagnosed with it in her 40s. Her wonderful
mother tragically passed away from it at the age of 66. This was no joke. And
that was a problem. As I mentally cataloged all of my potential skills as a
caregiver, which took all of a few seconds, I concluded that my greatest
caregiving asset was… humor. Jeezo.
I wasn’t going to
relieve the stress of her lumpectomy surgery with lame bosom jokes (What did
one boob say to the other boob? You are my breast friend. Groan.) Physical
humor was out, too, because if I accidentally hurt myself joking around—something
I am quite capable of—Laura surely would assign me the task of purchasing a
doghouse… when we don’t have a dog. (At which point, I probably would have
brought up some silly trivia about the phrase “in the doghouse” and how it was
a type of sleeping shelter on an old sailing ship that was notoriously
uncomfortable. And then I’d pick out sheets that matched the living room couch
and make myself comfortable.)
relieve the stress of her lumpectomy surgery with lame bosom jokes (What did
one boob say to the other boob? You are my breast friend. Groan.) Physical
humor was out, too, because if I accidentally hurt myself joking around—something
I am quite capable of—Laura surely would assign me the task of purchasing a
doghouse… when we don’t have a dog. (At which point, I probably would have
brought up some silly trivia about the phrase “in the doghouse” and how it was
a type of sleeping shelter on an old sailing ship that was notoriously
uncomfortable. And then I’d pick out sheets that matched the living room couch
and make myself comfortable.)
Fortunately I discovered
my caregiving skillset was deeper than I anticipated. Maybe not so much in the
physical sense—other than rewrapping her dressings and getting the occasional
glass of water—but I could support her in so many other ways. And yes, I did
manage to make her smile without getting into too much trouble, although
getting her to agree to be photographed prior to surgery was a bit of a
stretch.
my caregiving skillset was deeper than I anticipated. Maybe not so much in the
physical sense—other than rewrapping her dressings and getting the occasional
glass of water—but I could support her in so many other ways. And yes, I did
manage to make her smile without getting into too much trouble, although
getting her to agree to be photographed prior to surgery was a bit of a
stretch.
How did it all go?
Swimmingly. My biggest challenge as caregiver was making sure I didn’t fall
onto her needle-prepped chest kissing her good luck before the surgery. From
there things just got easier. Her recovery was swift and she was a perfect
patient. Ah, but of course—she must have learned from the best! Please note
that previous sentence drips of sarcasm.
Swimmingly. My biggest challenge as caregiver was making sure I didn’t fall
onto her needle-prepped chest kissing her good luck before the surgery. From
there things just got easier. Her recovery was swift and she was a perfect
patient. Ah, but of course—she must have learned from the best! Please note
that previous sentence drips of sarcasm.
And the tumor?
Benign. It feels so good to breathe again.
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