Taking things one moment at a time is the best strategy for this columnist
by Desiree Lama | July 8, 2024
Let me paint you a picture of a scenario that has stuck with me for years.
It was my sophomore year at the University of Texas at Austin and I was having lunch with my best friend at the time. We were discussing my journey with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis because I had just relapsed, so times were troublesome. My friend offered me support because I was struggling to keep up with the demands of my classes, research, and work.
In the middle of our conversation, another friend came upon us while walking through the building. This friend sat down with us but felt the seriousness of our conversation. I decided to disclose my condition to this person because it was not an aspect of myself that I had tried to hide. In an instant, a look of pity filled their eyes and they said, “I am so sorry. You are so strong.” I responded, “Thank you, it’s OK,” and moved on with my day.
Accepting reality
Don’t get me wrong, those words aren’t the worst comment a person can make, but it sure does get tiresome. Of all the emotions that can be conveyed, pity is not the sentiment I wish to invoke in others when I disclose my health condition. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me.
I spent a large part of my MS journey feeling sorry for myself, but that isn’t good for my mental health. Lately, I’ve tried to better understand the emotion because it isn’t a healthy mindset to live with.
Pitying and feeling sorry for myself won’t do anything to change the reality of living with MS. This disease is something that I’ll have to live with every day for the rest of my life. There are no days off with MS.
Sure, I may have better days than others, but that doesn’t mean the MS magically disappeared or took a nap. So wallowing in self-pity won’t change my reality. If anything, it will make me feel worse about my circumstances.
I have to remind myself that, due to the unpredictability of MS, the only thing I can do is take it one day at a time, and sometimes one moment at a time. However, there have been countless times when I’ve worried about future possibilities, which doesn’t do me any good. Stressing about something that hasn’t happened also negatively affects my mental health.
Taking my journey with MS one moment at a time is the best strategy for me because it eliminates many anxieties that try to hijack my mind. The world of MS isn’t characterized only by its onset, symptoms, and diagnosis. It also involves disclosure, worries, anxiety, and internal battles that we all must process.